Sunday Jan 01, 2023 Sunny
Happy New Year! It’s already 2023 before I recognize it. This is the first time in my life that I’m not at home for Chinese New Year, and my heart seems to be more or less empty. Being in another country, even the slightest emotion can be magnified and spending Chinese New Year with family can become a luxury. Chinese New Year is not just a ritual. It is also a time of family reunion and nostalgia across the sea. It was only after I had left the country that I finally realised the importance of Chinese New Year to a Chinese person. I was unable to celebrate with my family and was depressed to see them over the phone. The eagerness to reunite with my family was something I could only digest in silence.
The last six months have gone by quickly and differently. I came to London. I came to Westminster. I have encountered many different people, felt many strange kindnesses and experienced many diverse cultures. From an international student’s perspective, I explore another side of the world. But this little six months could equally be described as having gone by very slowly. It allowed me to slow down the pace of running, to swing recklessly in pursuit of self-discipline in days without restraint or prodding. I often feared I would be spoiled by this “indulgence” and that I would be left with no desire for anything. Gradually I began to lose track of what I really wanted and began to take the time to adjust to my situation. This kind of tiredness was various from high school, where you had to complete an excessive amount of study plans on time every day. Back then it was like sprinting, but now I’m just standing still.
I recently took some free time to watch a film called “Brooklyn.” The main character, Eilis, leaves her native Ireland to start a new life in Brooklyn, New York. Her initial experience is one that about everyone living in a foreign country has experienced: the uncomfortable journey, the ignorance of the rules of the modern world, and lying in a small, uncomfortable place contemplating her unpredictable future. As she settles into life in New York, the tragic news comes from her family, and the distance prevents her from attending the funeral of a loved one, so she asks herself, “Why on earth did I come here?”. It’s a question I’ve asked myself before too. In the film, Eilis finally finds the answer, and when she returns to her hometown, everything she once desired but could not get is open to her: a decent job, a divine love and a promising future. These are all things that her experience and upbringing in Brooklyn have brought her.
For me, the ending of this story doesn’t matter much anymore. Whether Eilis chooses to stay in her hometown or return to New York, she is no longer the same confused and helpless person she was. She has become a better version of herself and has the right to determine her life. It made me reflect on my own feelings. I regret all the missed reunions and joys, but I have also grown in Westminster, in this foreign land. I learnt more about my profession from a wider perspective and gained cutting-edge information; I made friends with people from all over the world and learnt to tolerate and understand all kinds of ideas and cultures; I perceive a altered social situation than before and thus learnt more about my own heart. Most correspondingly to the holiday season, I have come away with a greater understanding of the meaning of family and togetherness. When I am with my family on one of the succeeding holidays, I will be a better me, with richer feelings and insights.
Life abroad is an adventure of leaving home. People always say that when you look back after a long time, everything has been a light boat. For me as a freshman, it is still a long way off. I hope that in 2023 I will be capable to get used to this place and sail slowly towards my dreams. Please make sure I cherish every second of the New Year. I am sure that I will blossom at the right time.
I will become the person I want to be!
Happy New Year!